Luis Pabon

A gay journalist has written an article detailing all negative aspects of being gay, entitled ‘Why I no longer want to be gay.’

Luis Pabon wrote the online piece for ThoughtCatalog.com on November 17.

Pabon describes the experiences and people he has met which has drawn him to the conclusion that he doesn’t want to be gay.

‘Initially I came to this community searching for love, intimacy and brotherhood. In return, I got shade, infidelity, loneliness and disunity,’ he wrote.

‘The self-loathing in this community forces you to encounter a series of broken men who are self-destructive, hurtful, cruel and vindictive towards one another.’

Pabon, who is described as ‘an artist, poet, writer, singer-songwriter who continues to perform throughout the Capital Region sharing stories of hope, transformation and self actualization’, goes on to deconstruct the gay stereotypes he hates so much.

‘The same classic stereotypes of gay men keep rearing their ugly heads,’ he wrote.

‘The indiscriminate sex, superficiality, unstable relationships, self-hatred, peter pan syndrome, closeted connections, ageism, shade, loneliness, preoccupation with sex, prejudice, aversion to intimacy all seem to come out of the ground I thought they were buried under.

‘Gay men just seem to find it difficult to transcend the stereotypes and clichés attached to the life and it is becoming disheartening.’

Pabon does delve into his coming out, and his initial attitude towards the LGBTI community.

‘It has been seven years since I decided to live my life as an openly gay male and it has not been an easy road,’ he said.

‘It has been fraught with much pain and misery that I initially tried to mask with alcohol, drugs, sex and parties. In the beginning it was hard to admit that I liked other men. But I did and it was a very freeing experience.

‘I took pride in my gay pride and felt as though I were a part of something greater than myself, a movement of men who loved other men and who were unafraid to show it.

‘But the truth is, we didn’t love each other; we were just infatuated with the idea of belonging and going against the grain.’

He also discusses ideas of masculinity.

‘Men also used to be men and approached you with a modicum of chivalrous courage.

‘Now they hide behind electronic masks or position themselves in close proximity to you at clubs hoping you initiate contact only to arrogantly dismiss your advances in an attempt to project their own discomfort.’

He concludes by saying he misses a sense of romance in the gay community.

‘I am too young to long for the good old days but this life makes you miss what it meant to be gay. It makes you long for the times when a guy would greet you and offer you a drink as opposed to his cock size and sexual stats.

‘The gay life is like the love of a bad boy whose attention and love you initially covet but eventually outgrow. It’s just not where I see myself anymore.’

The full article ‘Why I no longer want to be gay’, is published by ThoughtCatalog.com.

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